I don’t know if I’m jinxing myself by sharing this now but I’ve been having some awesome, peaceful nights for the past month and I feel the need to document this proud moment. As a new mom, your life turns inside-out, and upside-down in the first few weeks of motherhood. If you had a routine of any sort, you just have to toss that out the window. I have been on maternity leave for almost three months now and I’m thankful for the time I got to spend at home with my family and my Little Bubukins. It has helped me get to know her and get to know myself better in my new mom role.
Her Arrival
You know, on the first day of her arrival, she slept throughout the day. Speaking of her arrival, you know what she did when she first landed? She let out two very lazy cries and passed out. I guess she was just as tired as I was. But even when we’re tired, we still eat right? Nope. Not her – she slept on the boob. Imagine trying to figure out how to breastfeed with a very sleepy baby. They took her to clean her up and put on some warm clothes. Then she came back swaddled up, looking like a jelly bean (little did I know that would be the last time I ever see her in a perfect swaddle, haha). Then she slept beside me – for 6 hours straight! I had to wake her up to feed
her (oh, my heart is sobbing from the memory).
I have always had the perfect perky boob, but at that moment I wished for them to be bigger with nipples large enough to suckle on. Trying to get her to latch on was a job and a half. At some point, the nurse, the cleaning lady and the server were all surrounding me giving me tips on how to position her. I even cried in resignation and told my nurse that I want my baby to be formula-fed because this breastfeeding thing was not for me. She just laughed and said I’m not leaving the hospital until I’ve fed her – from my boob!
Eventually, I got to feed her then it was time to leave. I remember it was raining that day. We drove home in a convoy of three cars – my car, her father’s car and a friend’s car. Don’t ask me how and why, I’ll tell you one day. It was a two hour drive and Little Bubukins slept the whole way. The first pit stop was my apartment to get the rest of my things and hers (when I left for my doctor’s appointment I didn’t think I would come back with a baby – story for another day). Then we left for my parents’ house which is just under an hour away from my place.
The First Month
Listen ladies, in the first few weeks, you sleep when your baby sleeps! Don’t even negotiate it. It doesn’t matter if it’s 12 PM or if you just woke up an hour ago. When she sleeps, you sleep. Also, there’s nothing else that is important. Your job is to feed her, feed yourself, change her nappies and clean her. When you can, you bath. The house does not need to be cleaned every day and you also only need to do laundry once in a week (or else she will run out of clean clothes). There was one week where I tried to be a superhero – I cleaned the house, cooked and washed the dishes while Mbali was sleeping. Fine, it gave me temporary sanity and relief. But when everyone went to bed at night, having their 45th dream, I was up at night with a fussy baby. She wanted to feed every hour! I cried hey. Yes, my mom would wake up to help calm her down (love you Mama), but it’s my boob that had the milk. I had to be the one holding her to feed her. I felt like a prisoner. Not being able to do anything that would not affect my baby in some way or the other. Life became manageable when I remembered that I have a breast pump.
The Second Month
By the way, to help ease the costs that come with having a baby, do accept hand-me-downs from family and close friends. They will save you and your pocket. The breast pump I’m using was my sister’s (love you Maphefo) and it does its job perfectly. I remember using it for the first time when she was only five days old. Her father and I had to go to home affairs to make her a birth certificate and the thought of carrying her around in public was just not sitting well with me. So I expressed just enough milk to last her for the
duration of the trip. My mom offered to take care of her while we were away.
I now pump when I know I’m going to be away for a couple of hours or when her and I have to go to the doctor and I need help feeding her while I’m driving. To celebrate her second month, I bought wine. I only had one glass and it felt really good. Especially after being sober for just over 9 months. Of course I had to express enough milk for her before I had my drink – alcohol does pass into breast milk! (I’m not endorsing drinking while breastfeeding. Please read up on the necessary precautions to take to protect your baby).
After week 9, my interactions with her became more and more genuine. She looks at me and smiles. She laughs and makes funny faces – I can tell she’s goofy (like me, of course). We have “conversations” and she now trusts me to feed her and change her nappies on time. She also latches on like a boss! Even grabs the milk bag herself. Bath time is fun now and she really enjoys being in water. I’m not afraid to bath her by myself anymore. I don’t cry like I used to when I have to leave her with my parents for a couple of hours to shop for essentials and just get some fresh air (you need it).
She appears to have adopted a routine as well. Her naps are just long enough to allow me to exercise, write a blog post and have a decent bath, all of which I couldn’t do in the first month. I didn’t listen when they said I should not go crazy with the newborn clothes, now I’m stuck with a bunch of pretty onesies that don’t fit anymore. Some she hasn’t worn yet. I’m only just getting used to dressing her up in those 0-3 months clothes but even those are shrinking and it seems like her tiny body is already calling for bigger sizes. They really do grow fast. I don’t even want to think about storage, I’ll worry about that when the time comes. I’m just going to enjoy every single moment with her, 24/7, before my time is up and I have to return to work. Why does the time fly by like this?
