Dear Ms Baby Mama,

First and foremost, thank you! Thank you for being here. For allowing us to come this far. It was a ridiculously difficult year but somehow, we have made it through to the last days of 2020. It must be mercy and grace. To say you are blessed is an understatement. To mention just how loved you are would be low-key bragging. We could sit here and use this opportunity to criticize our major flops (which we really should, I mean, it is the perfect time to do personal stock-taking) but this moment right here is not for that.

This must be one of the most bittersweet years we’ve had to live through. So much gained. So much lost. You became a mom and that must be the best thing that has ever happened to you by far. You also hit your ultimate low in terms of relationships. You lost friends and lovers. You lost close relatives. You lost the signal that connects you to your maker and found yourself praying less as a result. Despite it all, you have a bomb-ass family to be thankful for. They really came through and helped carry you through it all. Mbali is 10-months old today and this just goes to show how quickly time zooms by. You have more reason now to value this time and be mindful of how you spend it.

What was truly meant for you stayed and what was not, somehow found its way out. What we have learnt also, is that some things will leave your life but later find their way back to you. The decision to keep anything in your life will always be yours to make. You have grown into a very strong and courageous woman. You saw yourself relive your past traumas this year but with the help of therapy and unwavering support from the sisterhood, you overcame it all. Thank you so much for not throwing in the towel. It was through your eyes that we got to see just how detrimental mental illness can be to one’s wellbeing. You intentionally embarked on a journey to break toxic cycles and despite the recent events, I just want to tell you that you are doing great. It was never a sprint anyway. It has always been a marathon.

It is very unfortunate that it took having your car being bumped to realize just how detached you have been from your soul, but we are grateful for being awake to that realization. The Almighty has a very strange sense of humour, especially towards those who have made “Help me find my purpose” the leading statement in more that 80% of their prayers. It was raining cats and dogs this morning and it just felt right to step outside and stand in the rain. Before interacting with any kind of forces today, it made sense to have God cleanse us first. It felt good to just stand there and get all soaked up. A sacred moment.

If I had to recap my highlights and (and lowlights) of 2020, I would probably end up writing a book (which I hope to do eventually at some point in my young life). Quarter-life crisis is not a joke. It was one heck of a rollercoaster, but I am extremely grateful for all the events that took place this year. For all the lessons that have carved me into this woman that I am today. From here, the only way to go is forward. Have you tried driving while constantly gazing at the rearview mirror? It sucks.

To my family, God knew exactly what He was doing when he brought you into my life. As dysfunctional as we may be, the kind of love and support you have been serving can never be bought anywhere. Thank you! I also want to thank you guys (yes, you who is reading this right now) for being a big part of my blogging journey. You are the ink in my pen. Your support has been everything. Let’s do it again next year. Although this started off as a letter to myself, I am now writing to all of you. It only goes to show how much I appreciate you.

I wish you all a blessed and safe festive season. May it be sweet, full of love and joy. May it be a season of hope, healing and forgiveness. Did I mention love? May you receive truckloads of it and have just enough to share with the rest us.

Love,

Ms Baby Mama

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” ~ Zig Ziglar